Dementia consultant highlights emotional struggles of spouses in Slagelse as care decisions loom

How do you tell the person you’ve shared your life with that you can no longer live together and must move them to a care home? And how does it feel to be informed that you need to leave your beloved home for the unfamiliar environment of a care facility? These are some of the most challenging emotions faced by relatives of people with dementia, often prompting them to seek advice from counselors.

Lone Rehder, a dementia consultant in Slagelse, underscores the difficulty of discussing care home arrangements, especially for spouses or partners. She explains that the decision is not trivial and often filled with overwhelming emotions. In some cases, partners prefer to endure personal hardship rather than address the possibility of moving.

Silje Heidner Amholt and her husband Tom Heidner are navigating this tough situation. Tom, diagnosed with dementia seven years ago, has recently required more support at home, complicating Silje’s ability to balance caregiving with her job and family obligations.

Despite her prior acknowledgment that a hard decision would eventually be necessary, Silje finds the reality of the situation much more challenging and emotionally draining than anticipated. She expresses through a podcast that she felt energy depleted at home, likening her exhaustion to being “tired of crying.”

When Tom experienced respite care, he perceived it as overwhelming, not recognizing how difficult it was for Silje to make those decisions alone. As they learn to navigate these changes, Rehder advises couples to communicate openly and to view the care home as a supplement rather than a complete separation. In doing so, they can preserve the essence of their relationship amidst the challenges of dementia.